Seems simple enough...right? My move to Turkey

I was getting to the point where I was ready to make some major changes in my life......or not. Would I try to adjust by starting grad school while maintaining a job that was interesting but also stressful and time consuming? I was finally starting to settle into my life in DC and was happily going with the flow but that didn't quite feel like enough. I loved being around my mom again so much after being away for 7 years. Seeing friends, living life in the city again, being close to family and all the East Coast hot spots was amazing. Still I felt like something was missing. I had a zest for exploration and travel that was confirmed for me during college on my study abroad in Spain. I wanted to grow, I wanted to take on projects that were my own and learn in the process. Was is time for grad school now? Maybe.

I began planning my first vacation abroad since college. That was what I needed. I was a bit haunted by the memories and connections with a friend with whom there was much love but also much regret over love unexplored. He encouraged me to come visit him in Turkey. We had been communicating via e-mail, sharing our new life adjustments and bonding in a way that circumstances had made difficult our last year in Arizona. Here we both were, back in our hometowns - me in D.C. and him in Datça, Turkey. Neither of us had realized how much of a challenge it would be. Having a much desired reunion in a sweet beach town that jutted out in the sea with the Mediterranean on one side and the Aegean on the other felt like a no brainer to me.

The country was beautiful and new to me, the people were hospitable and interesting and everything was warmly Mediterranean and fresh, awe-inspiring and humble. There had been numerous signs telling me I should visit and now a rediscovered love made it hard to leave. He playfully but seriously encouraged me to move to Turkey. Maybe I could do grad school work here...there was plenty to discover and research. I didn't speak the language and - though there were black people here and even Afro-Turkish people, they were few and far between - I stood out like a sore thumb....especially being not only black but also tall with natural hair. So what, I was up to the challenge and at least willing to explore the potential. I would see how the relationship was going via long distance, make another trip or two, explore colleges and scholarships for my area of study,delve into books and research on Turkish education, cultural and social studies, history, and modern life and take up Turkish lessons at the Middle East Institute. No commitments, nothing ensured, but options were open.

I brought my mother with me on a Thanksgiving visit to Turkey that was at once beautiful and stressful. Such a visit was casual enough for me - though I wanted her approval of my potential plans. For my love's family, though modern and liberal and very sweet to us, this visit was a signal that something extremely serious was brewing - marriage with a foreigner who wasn't Turkish, didn't speak the language, this would be difficult and what in the world were our plans. This, along with the uncertainty and stresses of our daily lives, put strain on our long distance relationship. In the end, the scholarships I had been hoping for, and had even gotten my dear friends invested in helping me to aquire, didn't work out. I was left with a few options. I could a) apply for more grants and loans and financial aid and apply to Turkish colleges anyway, b) continue with the long distance relationship via telephone and vacations, or c) pick up my life and move and figure the rest out from there.

After months of agonizing and back and forth, the answer was clear to me. I knew almost as much about the country as one could - the good and the bad - from reading, my short visits, and what I already knew through my human rights work. It would be a challenge but it seemed simple enough...right?

I would pick myself up from my well-paying and comfortable but stressful job, say so long to my new and old dear friends, say see you on vacation to my beautiful mother (as an only child, this was especially difficult), and leave my fun, work hard/play hard lifestyle behind for uncharted territory (uncharted for me at least). I learned there were other expats who had done just what I was doing in one way or another...and even other black and minority female expats who were currently undertaking their own journeys (though most of them were doing so in the much more cosmopolitan city of İstanbul). I could do this. The adventure and potential of my love were worth it. I did it.